It’s Loud in Here

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Wowza!  Where have I been?  I have to apologize for being on a bit hiatus from this blog. I have been bumping down the rolling, rollicking rapids of our crazy life.  Bouncing off doctor’s appointments, play dates, hockey practices, dog walks, work, boot camp (more on THAT soon – look for title: ABS where ARE you?) road trips, birthday parties, laundry, and yard work (I know! In October…that’s how far behind we are…we just started our “spring” clean-up!).

Lately I have been reading more than I have been writing. Today, I was reading a blog written by another boy-Mama.  She happens to have 3 TIMES more children than me.  That alone is amazing to me, and quite frankly, she can say whatever she wants about whatever parenting topic, because she has earned her super-Mom badge.  She was blogging about being a “reformed yeller” and how special being the Mom of boys is (and it is), but as I read yet another blog about a Mom who has mastered “not yelling”, and who is expertly and calmly raising a WHOLE LOTTA kids, AND who loves her husband as passionately as the day they met, AND who finds time to write in her blog consistently, I wondered to myself:

WHAT THE (BAD WORD) AM I DOING WRONG???

SERIOUSLY. Because, even though my boys go to school “dressed” every day, there is a good chance that at least one of them is missing the following:

breakfast

clean teeth

underwear

asthma meds

Or maybe all of the above…

And between 6 am and 8am, there is a good chance, if you walk past our house, there will be yelling.

Maybe not angry yelling, but more a “panicky, running around in my bathrobe, looking for missing library books, while I try to find the dog’s collar, as I run to shake the last kid awake, because, as luck would have it, he likes to sleep in on school days but manages to wake up at 5:30am on Saturday mornings kind-0f-yelling”.

Yes, that kind of yelling.

Or it might be a slightly gruff “vocal nudging” as I try to get my husband to stop pushing the snooze button and GET UP AND HELP ME.  Yes, I love him.  Do I feel like gushing about my love for him in a blog? NO! We are a little tired, we have no “alone” time, and it’s not the same as it used to be.  And he leaves his wet towel on top of my dry one in the bathroom.  And that makes me mad.  That’s just the truth.  I just hope that when we get to the other side of this nutty vortex of child-rearing, we still recognize each other.  Who knows? Maybe we will laugh about the towel thing over martinis on the patio of our retirement condo…

If you walk by our house on a morning when all three boys have hockey at the same time, you might hear things that will make you think you should call the authorities.  Don’t judge until you have tried to get three floppy-ankled, tired kids into hockey equipment at 5:30am…

If you were to walk past at 3am, maybe you’d here me yelling in horror as the dog barfs up another sock on my bedroom floor.  Because barf always happens at 3AM. And it is terrifying.

The other day one of the twins asked me if he could get a hamster.  Can you imagine?? YES! Let’s bring another animal into the house so that Mom has more things to feed, and more poop to clean up! YES!!! Let’s DO IT!!  AHHHH LET’S GET THREE!!!

That kind of yelling…

So, for now, I have had enough of the “blogs of perfections and suggestions”.  I have had enough of the fit, gorgeous Mommies with 10 kids (5 girls and 5 boys exactly, all with teeth brushed…probably twice/day, because super-mom has a Pinterest-worthy chart for each child outlining their “daily activities and chores”.   (How on earth do people FEED that many kids?? Where do they put all the food?? How big is their kitchen? THAT’S the stuff I want to know…not how you met your husband 17 years ago!)

I tried a chart once.  But my kids cheated and filled in all the squares with stickers when I wasn’t looking…

I want to keep it real.   There’s yelling.  There’s failure. My marriage isn’t perfect. Nobody’s is! Come on!  If you are all smoochy-face and gushy (and find time for all of that with young kids in the house) WHO, I ASK is watching your children? Romance is nice, but not with a bunch of 6-9 year olds hanging around. And WHO, I ASK, is going to pay for your children’s therapy because you spent their play-time making out and twirling each other’s nape hair?? Just saying…

No, life isn’t perfect.  Some days it’s all crappy.  Some days everything falls into place perfectly.

Those days always creep me out, to be honest. It feels a bit like being in the eye of a storm.  Quiet, peaceful and WEIRD!

Honestly, I don’t get it.  My house is organized,and I think I am a pretty organized person.  But things still get lost.  The yard is (seriously) neglected this year. My garden was terrible this summer. And I can’t remember the last time anyone fed the fish in our pond…And even though I try to be calm and parent from a place of love and grace like denim-shirt-Mommy, I lose my cool and I yell.

I forget about field trips, and bake sales. I resist birthday parties and playdates.  My van still smells like fish.  My dog is still eating socks and Lego.

And I can’t see us wearing matching denim shirts anytime soon.

Big messes, big voices, big love.  Those other Mama’s can have their sorting baskets, label-makers, charts, and matching-denim-shirt-photos. I’ll keep my mess. But I’ll try not to yell.

GlgYJ

Silly Mama is keeping it real!  Want some really cute baby clothes for those family photos?  Check out the latest from www.sillysouls.com!  New product coming soon too!

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