I can’t stop thinking of the post I wrote about my Mom. I think that writing that blog peeled back my heart to such a raw state. I don’t know, maybe it’s just P.M.S. (isn’t it always?), but whatever it is, I came out on the other side of this Mother’s Day with a changed appreciation for the women in my life. Lately, I’ve been noticing this intricate tapestry of mothering,friendship,shared pain and joy, support, honesty, courage, and grace, between women who care for one another.
It’s as though there is a dangling piece of information – just there – for me to grab. A message. It’s a message to open my eyes and heart to these friendships, because they are golden. Whether it is through laughing, sharing our hurt, sharing our beliefs, fears and dreams, or just loving one another despite our circumstances, friendship is so important.
She may be your actual sister, (and I am blessed to have on of those too), but more likely, it is the women in your life you have chosen as friends. They are put on your path on purpose, without a doubt.
The day after I wrote the Mom’s Day post, I received a forwarded message written by one of my Mom’s best friends. Her message was that she loved my Mom so much. And that she too, missed her. And then she told a hilarious story that I had never heard before that made me laugh out loud, and then, cry (of course). Later, I received some messages from my friends. They assured me that my Mom would be proud of me, and they told me how they loved my Mom and cherished her kindness and spirit.
These woman, friends crossing two generations, and the boundaries of death, were echoing my Mom’s love! How awesome is that? It makes my heart FLY!
Friendships like this never die. And friends who are loved by friends like this are never forgotten.
We stay alive in the hearts of the people who love us. This is legendary friendship.
Friends like this will tell your children the stories of the heart. They will love your children after you have gone. They will feed your husband when you are too sick to cook. They will drive you to the hospital. They will clean your house, and never judge how gross the baseboards in the bathroom are.
They will catch you when you falter. They will never forget you.
I can’t say enough about my friends. They are amazing women. AMAZING. Each one so strong, resilient, loving.
We have pulled each other through the darkness, like soldiers dragging an injured troop-mate back to safety. We have washed barf out of each others’ hair. We fight for each others’ welfare. We step back and give each other space when words just won’t help. We check in on each other. We worry about each other. Those of us who pray, pray for all of us.
But we rarely judge. We don’t compete (unless it’s board games).
We are there for the 3 AM call when someone thinks their marriage is over. We pray for good results,healthy babies, and that next job promotion. We band together when someone needs team-size support.
I have watched in awe (and I mean jaw-open-awe) as my girlfriends:
finish Master’s degrees in their 40’s
fly their baby across the country for cancer treatments
forgive a husband’s infidelity
face every morning for years knowing their child is slowly dying
go through fertility testing and treatments
face losing 100 pounds
wait for a diagnosis for a child’s disability
work all night and still take a kid to hockey practice
keep their faith while a career falls apart…
and so, so much more.
Oh you bet sista! I am in awe of you (and you better be reading this…cause, um, that’s the kind of support we give each other. RIGHT-O?)
As I get older, I am finding new friends on my path. The blessing of good, old friends is that you can make really good, new friends, because you have a standard to hold these women up to. No settling for some mediocre, anti-social, panty-hose-wearing-competitive-weirdo at the office. Hold out for the good ones! Frenemies be gone!
Well-aged friendships might be one of the greatest benefits of ageing.
There is something about the awesomeness of female friendships when you let go of the jealousy, competition and judgement. It’s real. It’s organic. It’s so awesome.
And when we truly love our friends, and trust them, something beautiful happens. We are accountable to each other to a different degree. We are held in a different regard. We are admired. We are looked after. We grow! We are fully trusted. We are depended upon. We are forgiven. We get beautiful-er.
Loving friendships beautify our lives, our minds, and our hearts.
Be blessed friends, you beautiful people! I love you!
(Cue: You’ve Got A Friend by James Taylor)
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